By Ruby Cheema.
To be loved is to be known.
Our identities and behaviours can often mirror those of the people around us. From an early age, we are influenced by our parents and family members, who serve as our primary role models. As we grow, the impact of teachers and educators shapes our learning experiences and attitudes toward knowledge. Our peers, including classmates and friends, play a crucial role in forming our social skills and interests, while colleagues influence our professional conduct and work ethic. Each of these connections contributes to our development and can significantly affect the way we perceive ourselves and interact with the world.
In today’s technology-driven and work driven world, loneliness is rampant. We often overlook the benefits of strong friendships.
THE SCIENCE BEHIND A GOOD FRIENDSHIP
Have you ever felt that rush in your body when you do something you love? That’s your brain releasing a handful of neurochemicals. Imagine the warm feelings of trust and safety that oxytocin brings, making us feel cozy and connected. Then there’s serotonin, the superhero of mood stabilization, keeping us bright and balanced. And dopamine, the ultimate pleasure booster, cranking up the thrill of rewards and making every enjoyable moment feel electrifying. Studies show that when we engage in bonding activities with a peer, these neurochemicals come alive.
Humans crave connection. Sharing our struggles, tough experiences, or even our joys with friends can be a way to lower stress levels. It’s fascinating how our emotional connections have a powerful physical impact. Studies reveal that forming a strong bond with someone can reduce cortisol levels in our bodies. So, the next time you chat with a friend, remember you’re not just catching up; you’re boosting your well-being together.
A good friendship makes you stronger, literally. Research indicates that having a solid social support system can reduce the perception of pain, making it easier to cope with discomfort. For instance, laughter is not only a source of joy but also a physiological response that can elevate your pain threshold; this is largely due to the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers. Also, engaging in regular social interactions can bolster your immune system, keeping it robust and better equipped to fend off illnesses. Studies have shown that individuals who experience loneliness or a lack of support tend to face higher risks of heart disease and cancer. This connection underscores the importance of nurturing friendships and creating meaningful social networks, as the emotional support they provide is vital for maintaining both mental and physical health.
HOW DOES A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP LOOK?
How fulfilling are your friendships from a scale of 1-10?
In her insightful TED Talk on friend intimacy, Shasta Nelson highlights the findings from her extensive research on the fundamental components that contribute to a strong and lasting friendship. She identifies three key denominators that consistently emerge.
Positivity: We all crave rewards in our friendships; we want to feel good about ourselves and the connection we share. This encompasses expressions of kindness, acts of service, validation, empathy, and gratitude—these elements foster a sense of acceptance and belonging among friends.
Consistency: The shared history we create and the time we invest in one another solidify our bonds. This can be as simple as spending a few minutes together, having a quick phone call, sharing a funny meme, or sending a thoughtful text message. Regular check-ins and small gestures help nurture the relationship over time and reinforce our commitment to each other.
Vulnerability: It involves opening up and revealing more of ourselves—sharing both the highs and lows of our lives. It’s important to discuss what’s going well but also to feel comfortable sharing our struggles and challenges. This honesty helps forge a deeper connection.
Importantly, this does not mean that we must always exhibit happiness around our friends. There is space to express feelings of venting or frustration; it’s part of the human experience.
BENEFITS OF SUPPORTIVE FRIENDSHIPS
A good friend can go a long way. A supportive friendship has benefits:
Boost your happiness – enhance positive activities together:
As highlighted, cultivating friendships can significantly elevate your mood by increasing the release of beneficial neurochemicals while simultaneously alleviating stress. Engaging in fun activities with friends can be a way to strengthen these bonds. Consider playing sports, where the thrill of competition and teamwork can spark laughter. Exploring new hobbies together can ignite creativity and provide a shared sense of accomplishment. Sharing a meal allows you to eat new things and deepen your connection through conversation. Alternatively, simply sitting down for a chat can foster intimacy, allowing for genuine connections. Whatever you choose spending quality time with friends enriches your life and boosts your overall happiness.
Create a sense of belonging and purpose
The need for belonging is a fundamental aspect of the human experience, deeply rooted in our innate desire for connection with others. When individuals feel a sense of belonging, they often experience a heightened sense of safety and security, which in turn fosters resilience and equips them to better manage the anxieties and challenges they face in life.
Belonging is not just about being part of a group; it’s about forming authentic connections with people who share similar interests and values, and who appreciate you for your true self. This sense of community can come from various sources, whether through shared hobbies, professional networks, or social initiatives.
Take some time to identify activities and hobbies that you genuinely enjoy. Reflecting on your interests can lead you to discover local or online groups aligned with those passions. For instance, if you love painting, consider joining a local art class or an online art forum. If you enjoy outdoor activities, look for hiking clubs or community gardening initiatives.
References
Bonior, A. (2017, March 8). 11 surprising things good friendships do for you. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201703/11-surprising-things-good-friendships-do-you?amp
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2024, October 15). The health benefits of good friends. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
n.d. [All Connected: A place for Belonging]. (2024, February 8). The Need for Belonging [Video]. Youtube. https://youtu.be/iEF2kncRRw4?feature=shared
Tedx Talks. (2017, Dec. 15). TEDxLaSierraUniversity – Shasta Nelson – Frientimacy: The 3 Requirements of All Healthy Friendships [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/hmJyWreER7A?feature=shared