By Michelle York
In Canada, the number of individuals 15 and older who have reported problematic drug use was roughly 7 million people (Government of Canada, 2023). Additionally, more than 20 million Americans aged 12 and older are affected by addiction or substance use disorders (SUD) (Liddle et al., 2024). These numbers also correspond with associated harms to the individual, their families and the society as a whole with increased crime related costs, additional healthcare costs or increased use of income assistance due to loss of employment. Due to the high potential for relapse, SUDs are seldom overcome in a single treatment and often require several levels of ongoing support for the individual to successfully maintain sobriety. However, because many individuals requiring treatment rarely receive it and if they do, find it ineffective, the families of the people with a SUD can often feel they are left to cope with this on their own.
We are here to help! Not only can we provide counselling for the person struggling with addiction, but we can also support those people around them as well, particularly the parents. Whether the parent is a biological, adoptive, step, or foster parent, or an extended family member in a parental role, the emotional impact of a child’s addiction can be intense and exceed the parent’s capacity to cope or adapt to the needs of their loved one (Russell et al., 2024). As a result, parents can experience a range of conflicting emotions toward their child such as anger and resentment, coupled with deep love and worry for their safety. It is common for parents to then feel constantly on edge, exhausted, and anxious as a result. Oftentimes trust and communication between the parent and adult child also erodes, causing further relationship strain and emotional distress for both parties.
In addition to the relationship difficulties between parents and their adult child with an addiction, parents are often faced with complex decisions about when, how or how much to help their child without potentially enabling their substance use. These dilemmas, along with the social stigma that often places some degree of blame on the parent, can leave parents feeling guilty, powerless, unsupported, overwhelmed and alone (Siljeholm et al., 2024). At Crossroads Collective, there are several ways we can support a parent with an adult child in addiction, starting with providing a space where the parent can share their experiences and process their emotions without the fear of judgement. Due to the high stress and anxiety associated with caring for a child with an SUD, we can work with the parent to strengthen their stress reducing and emotional regulating strategies. Whether through individual counselling sessions or our group workshop on anxiety, we can help the parent to build resiliency and effective coping strategies to help them manage anxiety and care for their own emotional well-being.
Couples counselling at Crossroads Collective is another way we can support parents who have an adult child in addiction. The feelings of powerlessness and frustration can cause discord between the parents as each parent might find vastly different ways of coping with their child’s addiction. They may also have conflicting helping behaviours and attitudes toward their child or blame one another for their child’s addiction. Conflicts over whether to offer financial, housing or other tangible help, and for how long are often sources of contention between parents. Couples counselling can help with the stress placed on the parents relationship by helping them to strengthen their bonds and reconnect with each other as they walk through this significant challenge together. Counsellors can also assist parents in connecting with local resources, provide education on addiction and help the couple increase their communication and listening skills between themselves and with their child. Through a variety of different approaches, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, emotion focused therapy or the Gottman Method, counsellors can aid the parents in nurturing their relationship as well as help them explore ways to best support their child together.
Lastly, our High Conflict Team at Crossroads Collective can support the parents and family of an adult child with an addiction. They are a team of professionals trained in working with families experiencing high levels of stress and are skilled and experienced in assisting families work through conflictual and complex family dynamics.
Government of Canada. (2023). Canadian alcohol and drugs survey (CADS): Summary of results for 2029. Retrieved from https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/canadian-alcohol-drugs-survey/2019-summary.html
Liddle, H. A., Dakof, G., Rowe, C., Mohamed, A. B., Henderson, C., Foulkrod, T., Lucas, M., & DiFrancesco, M. (2024). Multidimensional Family Therapy for Justice-Involved Young Adults with Substance Use Disorders. Journal of Behavioral Health Services & Research, 51(2), 250–263. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11414-023-09852-5
Russell, B. S., D’Aniello, C., Tambling, R. R., & Horton, A. L. (2024). Distress among parents of individuals with substance use disorders: Factors that shape the context of care. International Journal of Mental Health & Addiction, 22(1), 478–493. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-022-00884-0 Siljeholm, O., Eckerström, J., Molander, O., Sundbye, J., & Hammarberg, A. (2024). ’Before, we ended up in conflicts, now we can provide support’—Experiences of community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT) for parents of young adults with hazardous substance use. BMC Psychiatry, 24(1), 1–15. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-024-05913-x
