High Conflict Team & Family Mediation Langley
The High Conflict Team at Crossroads Collective in Langley specializes in working with families who are navigating heightened levels of conflict, and/or have been court-involved. High Conflict Team professionals are trauma-informed and have specialized knowledge and extensive training in high-conflict family dynamics. We are rooted in the best interests of children and are well-equipped to support families through challenging moments.
We offer a wide range of specialized services, assessments, and interventions for families both online/virtually as well as in-person. Many of the families that we work with are separated/divorced; however; we do also work with those who are not separated/divorced.
If you are thinking of working with the High Conflict Team, you know this is not the same as “regular” counselling. Understanding the high level of stress you are experiencing, the court system, and the polarizing nature of litigation make this area very specialized. Our additional training and continuing education are specific to the challenges faced by court-involved families.
The first step to work with our High Conflict Team is to fill out an inquiry form.
Please note that our general Crossroads Collective admin does not support High Conflict Team files. They will not be able to provide you information on the High Conflict Team or be able to give information on any of our High Conflict Team files. If you call or email our general office(s) you will be directed to email our High Conflict Team at hctcrossroads@gmail.com
High Conflict Team Services
Counselling & Coaching
- Family Systems Therapy
- Co-parent Counselling
- Co-parent Coaching
- Parent Coaching
- Individual Counselling
- Elder Counselling
- Court Ordered Therapy
- Couples Therapy
- Child/Youth Therapy
- Child/Play Therapy
- Therapeutic Parenting Time Supervision
- Resistance and Refusal Intervention
Assessments & Reports
- Parenting Plan Development
- Mediation Summary Reports
- Facilitated Discussion Outcome Reports
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Section 211 Reports
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Child Assessments
- Hear the Child Reports
- Voice of the Child Reports
Family Mediation
- Pre-mediation Coaching
- Comprehensive Family Mediation
- Child-inclusive Family Mediation
- Facilitated Discussions
Family Systems Support Program
- Customized support for families that are experiencing heightened levels of conflict (scroll to the bottom of this page for more information on our Family Systems Support Program)
The High Conflict Team
How a Court Involved Professional can help
Hear The Child Report
Our High Conflict Team Professionals
Our High Conflict Team professionals are trauma-informed, diversity allied, and have specialized knowledge and extensive training in high-conflict family dynamics. We are rooted in the best interests of children and are well-equipped to support families through challenging moments.
Our HCT professionals have training, and experience inclusive but not limited to working with family dynamics and/or individuals who have experienced/are experiencing family violence (physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, financial abuse, neglect, coercive control, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse etc.), substance use/misuse, intimate partner violence, mental illness, poverty, homelessness, court-involvement, a variety of neurotypes (neurotypical and neurodivergent family members), court-involvement, child protection involvement and/or law enforcement involvement.
Marianne Cottingham, MA
Clinical Counsellor (CCC)
SERVICES OFFERED: Family Systems Therapy, Individual Counselling, Co-parent Counselling, Couples Counselling, Elder Counselling, Resistance and Refusal Intervention, Parent Coaching, Therapeutic Supervision, Parenting Plan Development, Section 211 Reports
Talia Spear, C.CFM C.FRM, C.NWFF
Certified comprehensive family mediator
SERVICES OFFERED: Comprehensive Family Meditation, Facilitated Discussions, Child-inclusive Family Mediation, Pre-Mediation Coaching, Co-parent Coaching, New Ways for Families Coaching, Parenting Plan Development, Parenting Time Supervision
Amanda Morazain, MACP
Clinical Counsellor (rCC)
SERVICES OFFERED: Family Systems Therapy, Individual Counselling, Co-parent Counselling, Resistance and Refusal Intervention, Parent Coaching, Therapeutic Supervision, Child/Youth Counselling, Child/Play Therapy
Darcie Clarke, MC
Clinical Counsellor (CCC)
SERVICES OFFERED: Family Systems Therapy, Individual Counselling, Co-parent Counselling, Resistance and Refusal Intervention, Parent Coaching, Therapeutic Parenting Time Supervision, Child/Youth Counselling, Child/Play Therapy
Colleen Vantol, MC
Clinical Counsellor (RCC)
SERVICES OFFERED: Family Systems Therapy, Individual Counselling, Co-parent Counselling, Couples Counselling, Resistance and Refusal Intervention, Parent Coaching, Therapeutic Parenting Time Supervision, Child/Youth Counselling, Child/Play Therapy
We are here to support you along your journey
Looking for something other than the High Conflict Team’s services? We are now accepting virtual appointments as well as in-person appointments.
Click below and schedule your first visit today!
Client testimonials
I’ve been seeing Mary Tuhkala since the beginning of 2024 to help me navigate divorce and co-parenting.
I really trust her guidance and appreciate how well she listens and offers tools that specifically assist the challenges I’m facing.
Her calm demeanor and reassurance have helped me define my boundaries, identify my strengths and weaknesses, and implement the tools she’s teaching me.
I would highly recommend seeing Mary if you’re looking to improve yourself in a safe and caring environment.
I’m so thankful to have the opportunity to invest in my wellbeing with Mary.
I can’t even express how grateful I am to Talia Spear for helping my kids and redicting my ex and me but, I am SO grateful there aren’t words!!!
We spent over 5 years in court trying to figure out our divorce, and had a really difficult time. She’s such a calm, warm and empathetic person. I don’t know how she managed it but, within four weeks we went from feeling like there was no hope at all to a consent order that didn’t skip any detail. This was the first time that my ex and I actually agreed on anything, and it was the full shabang. Talia just gets it.
She carefully deconstructed our chaotic attempts at coparenting and reconstructed something that works for us. We plan on working with her each time we butt heads. Crossroads is so lucky to have people like her on their team. i don’t know how she does it but she balances both sides beautifully. She’s like, the only thing that my ex and I seem to completely agree on. So thrilled we found her!!!
Marianne has been a pleasure to work with. She brings a warm and welcoming demeanour mixed with her sense of humour to every session. I can’t recommend her counselling services enough for any number of issues you may have.
Tj Sandhu has helped me in ways that I cannot explain. In simply 3 sessions, she has already pulled me out of a place that I didn’t think I could get out of.
She’s so caring and you feel so comfortable around her. I would recommend her to anyone. I’m so happy I found her as I will be keeping her as my counsellor as long as I can throughout life.
Family Systems Support Program
Our Family Systems Support Program supports each family member to improve the health of the relationships that they have with other family members as well as themselves. There are a variety of factors that may contribute to why relationships between family members have ruptured.
Our High Conflict Team takes a neutral, child-focused, family systems approach to conflict reduction and repairing relationships. We work collaboratively to support each family with customized and adaptable approaches. We work within a consent framework. Repairing ruptured family relationships or supporting family members when a resist refusal dynamic is present requires customized, and compassionate care.
We recognize that every person coming into our program is experiencing stress and a host of other emotions as well as concerns. People only seek out and/or are directed to our Family Systems Support program when family relationships are having difficulty, and conflict is uncomfortable for all involved.
We also recognize that you may feel a great sense of urgency to get started. Many of the families we work with have been on. along a road paved with challenges, agency involvement and/or court involvement before reaching us. We are commonly told that clients feel like our program is the only hope they have left. Others let us know that they feel reluctant and/or forced to participate. A common theme is that everyone is concerned for the children, even if the nature of the concerns differ.
We are a team committed to doing our best to support you and your family through this difficult time. We are here to work with you, and not against you. While we understand there may be frustrations along the way, we also expect basic respect of our High Conflict Team at all times. It is important to know that we don’t work for you individually; we are working to support your family. This is an important distinction.
If you are interested in receiving more information about our Family Systems Support Program the first step is to fill out our inquiry form. Once complete, we will provide you with additional information on our program and work with you to schedule an inquiry/intake session.
Agreement and/or Court Order Cheat Sheet
If you are developing an agreement or formulating an application for the Court for your family to participate in our Family Systems Support Program, we highly suggest the below as considerations/provisions:
1. Continuity of support/service for children regardless of co-parenting conflict where possible.
Commonly we see children whose trust in professionals (and engagement in therapeutic support) has been eroded by the removal or discontinuation of counsellors on a consistent basis.
Our child/youth counsellors are fierce advocates for the best interests of children. We strongly believe that maintaining a healthy relationship with (and perception of) mental health professionals will support a positive trajectory in their lives. Support for children must be insulated from co-parent disagreement where possible.
2. A conflict dispute resolution process that reduces court involvement where possible.
We commonly work with parenting coordinators, mediators etc., and highly encourage the reduction of court involvement where possible. The reason is that court involvement can increase conflict in family dynamics. Our goal is to shift out of an adversarial space with family members.
Conflict dispute resolution processes are woven within the entirety of the time we work with each family. This commonly reduces the amount of expenditure a family would accumulate without our intervention. That expenditure would in most cases significantly exceed the fees associated with our program.
3. Fullsome financial disclosure on an annual basis (or triggered when a family member states they cannot afford their portion of services) that is accessible to our team where possible.
This allows our team to consider the family for a sliding scale of rates associated with our services. It also allows us to further assess for financial and/or litigation abuse.
4. A timeline of when each co-parent must sign our Family Systems Service Agreement, and also make payments towards their portion of the costs.
We suggest that our Family Systems Service Agreement is signed within 72 hours of our providing it to the family members.
We suggest that payments be made no more than two (2) weeks following our request. This allows for a pay cycle to occur in most cases.
Please note that not all of our sessions are solely counselling based. Depending on the family issues at hand we may require other experts or professionals to contribute to supporting the family. Therefore, orders should define the cost of our program as a whole (administrative, professional, and counselling fees) and not just as “counselling”.
5. A detailed understanding of how the family members will pay for/split the entirety of costs associated with our program (session fees and administrative fees).
There will be sessions for each family member and not just the children in most cases.
Many court orders define the costs associated with our program as a section 7 expense.
6. Access for our team to connect with any and all professionals who have/are supporting the children and receive as well as provide information that supports the children’s best interests.
Our team does not work in silo because, simply put, it is not helpful for professionals working with a family to work in silo from one another. In many cases, this will lead to counterintuitive, inefficient, and unnecessarily costly support for a family.
7. Do not name specific professionals or counsellors on our team to support your family. Refer to the High Conflict Team at Crossroads Collective only.
Our High Conflict Team selects counsellors for your family based on your onboarding process and review of documents. We require the ability to select the appropriate counsellor(s) to support your family based on fit and circumstance.
8. Do not exclude family members from our program in an order.
This restricts our visibility to the entire family system, and/or ability to shift the family’s relationships to a healthier space.
9. Include all co-parents as well as children of the co-parenting partnership when defining who will participate if our High Conflict Team defines it’s necessary.
At minimum, the reason why you are involved with our Family Systems Support Program is because co-parents are in conflict and/or the children of the co-parenting partnership have had or are having difficulty. Excluding individuals who are part of the conflict, does not allow for the opportunity to resolve the conflict from a family systems perspective.
